the wait.

I have a feeling.. that I will be having a lot of like this in the next few months. Sundays full of paranoia and wishful thinking. The next sundays will be spent hiding my cellphone so that I won't do anything stupid like calling or sending SMS when i know its so possible that he's with the great gf. This feeling.. I don't know how far this can take me or how strong I can be dodging the pride that was always my number one priority. This position that I'm in..is an absolute blow in my pride. And yet I can't do anything.. i can't stop from what I'm really doing. I find my reasons are complete BS right now when I know they are really right. I wanted to go away.. to be just a friend so that he can try his best to work it out with the girl.. but where em I right now? Yup.. I'm on the side.. waiting and hoping that he'll make up his mind.

How long? I dunno. How stupid I can get? I still dunno. One thing is for sure tho... nothing lasts forever. I won't be in pain for a long long period of time.. I'll get tired of it. I'm sure and when it happens.. I'll cross the bridge from there.