weird thinking.

I have to get up really early later. I'm conducting an interview for the Indemnity ramp up which is why I stood up Went today. As I've said I'll prolly spend the whole day with him some time this weekend or this coming President's day. Its a long weekend.. who knows whats gonna happen. I can spend the whole weekend watching him as I try to go to sleep. This PRISON BREAK series is really getting into my nerves. I just soooooo love Wentworth. My kind of guy.. who says the right things at the right time. Kakagigil. What the hell are you thinking? I'm blogging like a high school girl drooling some guy that I met somewhere? Heck, no. Not my thing.

I've been spending a lot of time with Eunice these past days. This just might go on and on for the rest of my stay in Cubao.. she's one of the closest friends I've gained in APAC and I like spending time with her. Its a good feeling to spend time with someone that buys every single crap that you say. Someone that doesn't judge you.. someone who appreciates the way you express yourself and someone who respects your judgements. We discovered a new place today to spend lunch away from the hustles of other insomniacs who eat at KFC. I guess one of the reasons why I like spending time with her was the fact that we had a similar love story so she can relate to most of my whinings and sentiments about that field. And we both wondered why the same scenarios keep on happening just with different characters involve.. but its still the same shit. I said that maybe there are lessons that need to be learned, its just that we keep on commiting the same mistakes.. and God is always putting us into a test, thats why. Its only that when we learned the lesson thats the time that it will stop happening. But how will you learn it? How long will you keep on falling the same situation? How many times will you get hurt? When will you stop saying to yourself: I'd rather learn the lesson again than to miss the chance of not spending this moment with you? How many times... how long.. how many fucked up people??

I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of gauging myself how weak I am every damn day and yet I cannot find a way to straighten things up. I'm tired of denying that I'm hurting... I'm just so fucking tired being caught in the same situation every time and still can't act the right things. I always say that I need time to bleed.. but how long? I'm in a mess. What the heck am i saying? Just one of my pms-ing time of the day? Shit. This weird thinking.. it has to stop. Oh Lord Dear God.. Merciful Jesus Christ.. make it stop. Someone please sedate me. I should sleep.. I'm just not making any sense. Later.