I'm not supposed to care anymore.

I'm happy. Most of the times.. but then again.. sometimes I'll have this depression attacks. They will come unexpectedly, that feeling of being lost once in a while. Unbelievable. I'm not always like this. My friend, Daniel thinks that we can't really help feeling that way.. and I said: I wish that I can do something about us. But really.. I'm tired of feeling the same shit over and over again. Is this it? Someone told me before.. You have to fall into the deepest depression to appreciate life.. love and all that crap.. but what is there to be sad about anyways? The fact that I'm moving to a new office and leaving my friends behind? Fuck that. I can still see them. We're still in the same company.. I can't see any sad scenario there. That I'm leaving this guy behind? Nooooo.. there's nothing to be sad in that too. It was crystal clear from the start.. I already set the expectations. That he's gonna start dating other girls? Hahahahah. I find that really funny, not sad. I'm not supposed to care about the things that will concern this guy because its really not my business. So whats there to burn? I have a new life now. The one that I always wanted.. and yet at the end of the day why do i feel so damn empty?

I forgot the feeling of love.. of that head over heels state of mind. But then again.. I forgot the feeling of being honest... there's always denial. And I hate that. Maybe I'm in love... maybe not. So what if he's hitting on my close friend? Maybe i'm just being paranoid. And if I'm not.. there's only one approach that I know to make it all go away: Live my life the way it should be because I'm really not supposed to care. Period.